Complete Nothing Page 18

  Lauren rolled her eyes at me, then flounced off to break up Claudia and Keegan’s lip-lock. It was too bad the guy was such a jerk. The two of them made a stunning couple.

  “Things aren’t going so well for you today, are they?” Hephaestus said, his tone sympathetic. He dexterously pushed his chair through the grass, and Wallace and I walked alongside him, Wallace checking his phone for whatever might have changed in his world in the last ten seconds, me trying not to spontaneously combust.

  “I’ll figure it out.”

  I lifted my chin as we passed by Claudia, Lauren, and Keegan and rounded the corner to the front of the school. What I needed to do was talk to Peter. I had to find out what he wanted. Why he’d really broken up with Claudia. He was half this equation, and I’d largely ignored him until now. That was my new plan for the afternoon. Track down Peter and convince him to fight for Claudia. I was certain that if he made some grand gesture for her love, Claudia would forget about this temporary attraction to Keegan and true love would be born.

  “Everything’s going to be fine,” I said.

  And I believed it for half a second, until I practically tripped over Orion and Darla Shayne, who were latched together by their lips. Flashes of bits of their bodies assaulted me like harsh slaps to the face. His fingers in her hair, her hand on his ass, their pelvises smashed together. I staggered backward, my vision going gray at the edges.

  “No. Wrong. No. Wrong.”

  I had no control over my tongue. Words were spilling out of me at will. My brain seemed to be spinning a kaleidoscope of horrifying images over and over in front of my face. A flash of tongue, a half smile behind pressed lips, and groping fingers. Groping, needing, wanting fingers. I shook my head and closed my eyes.

  “Can’t. Don’t. Can’t. Wrong.”

  “True? Are you okay?” Wallace asked.

  “Wow. Things aren’t going so well on an Olympian scale,” Hephaestus deadpanned.

  Orion was not supposed to be with Darla. He was supposed to be liking me. Wanting to kiss me. Hephaestus had even said so. He’d bet on us getting together. What had gone wrong? What had I done wrong? I tripped backward over a rock or a curb and my arms flailed out. Wallace caught me before I could break my ass on the ground and make this moment even more horrifying than it already was.

  “True?” Wallace’s face loomed over mine. His grip was tight on my arms. “True? Are you having a psychotic break?”

  Jealousy.

  The word reverberated inside my mind, and I did the only thing I could think to do. I grabbed Wallace’s head with both hands and kissed him. I kissed him deeply, with tongue, hoping that Orion would see and miraculously recall how much he loved me.

  “Um, True? They’re gone.”

  I yanked my mouth away from Wallace’s, a string of saliva connecting us for two seconds more before it snapped. Wallace wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as I watched Orion and Darla walk off toward the parking lot, each with a hand inside the back pocket of the other’s jeans.

  “Um . . . True? I’m sorry, but . . . I don’t like you that way,” Wallace said, turning ten shades of purple. “I like Mia. Remember?”

  I pressed the back of my hand into my lips, shaking with horror and disgust, with jealousy and anger and sorrow.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t know what got into me.”

  “Psychotic break?” he offered in a gentlemanly way.

  “Psychotic break,” I confirmed.

  Yards away, Orion and Darla got into some sleek red car and sped off. I imagined the two of them ensconced inside the cocoon of the car’s cabin, music blaring, fingers entwined as he drove with one hand. She had him all to herself. My love. She was able to touch him whenever she felt like it. To kiss him, hold him, listen to his voice. If anyone was going to be dying of envy around here, it was me.

  How could I have been so wrong about what he was feeling, what he was thinking? How could both Hephaestus and I have been so wrong?

  “I’m sorry, True,” Hephaestus said. “I really thought that he—”

  Suddenly he flinched. His gaze shifted, and he stared past me so abruptly that I turned around, the tiny hairs on my neck standing on end.

  “What?” I asked, scanning the blue sky, the green trees, the rooftops of the houses on the street below. Apollo and Artemis. Were they here? “What is it?”

  “Nothing.” He turned his chair and headed for the parking lot. “I have to get home.”

  “Since when?” I asked, throwing my palms up. “I thought we were going to the diner.”

  “I’ll drop you there if you want,” Hephaestus called over his shoulder, pausing to let a herd of students traipse by.

  And then it hit me like a meteor to the cranium. I knew that look—the wide eyes, the frozen features—as if he’d been shocked with a couple hundred volts of electricity.

  Similar to the way it felt when my mother used to summon me back to Mount Olympus from Earth at the end of my Valentine’s Day sojourns each year. Was that what he was doing? Was he running off to be alone so that some upper god or goddess could whirl him back to the Mount? Was that who he’d been talking to in his room the other night? And if so, who the hell was it? Who was he plotting with?

  The herd finally cleared the sidewalk and Hephaestus forged ahead, crossing the driveway for the parking area beyond.

  “I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me why!” I shouted after him.

  His response was to yank open the door of the van with a loud creak. “I’m leaving in five minutes whether you guys are in the van or not!” he shouted, lowering the lift.

  “Come on,” Wallace said, loping past me toward the van. “I’ll buy you some pie.”

  Pity pie. That was what he was thinking. He thought I liked him, and he needed to buy me pity pie. Could this day get any worse?

  I sighed and followed after them. I didn’t want to let Hephaestus out of my sight. If he was whirling out, I wanted to catch him in the act. But it couldn’t be now, when he knew my interest was piqued. Right now he was going to be extra careful. No. It would have to be at a moment when he wouldn’t expect me to be watching.

  I was going to have to bide my time.

  CHAPTER FORTY

  Peter

  “I want to try the key lime cupcake,” Michelle said as I opened the door to Goddess Cupcakes for her on Sunday afternoon. “And the salted caramel. Oh! And the gingerbread.”

  “But you hate gingerbread cookies,” I said through a yawn. Every muscle in my body ached, and I felt like I was about to pass out. It had been a long night and an even longer day. I’d been daydreaming about my pillow for a solid couple of hours.

  Half out of it, I glanced around the shop to see if anyone from school was there. A couple of sophomore friends of Josie’s waved, and I nodded back. I felt hot around my collar suddenly, wondering if they knew what Josie and I had gotten up to after we’d dropped them off last night. Even I wasn’t entirely sure. The whole thing was a messy, headachy blur.

  I knew I’d seen a lot of skin. That I could remember. And I knew that I’d woken up at five a.m. on her basement couch, alone, and had to blearily find my way home before my mom and my sister woke up. Not my finest moment. When I’d trudged into church that morning, I honestly thought I might get zapped by a bolt of lightning.

  “Well, maybe I’ll like it in a cupcake,” Michelle replied, bouncing on her toes. There really wasn’t much that got her more excited than a potential sugar high. “Besides, it’s free.”

  “Can’t argue with that logic,” I said sarcastically, checking my phone for the millionth time and wondering if this was a scam. I’d gotten a text this morning telling me to come in before five o’clock to claim my free half-dozen cupcakes. Normally I would have ignored it, but after mowing the lawn, weeding the garden and front walk, and hanging the garage door back on its hinges, I figured I deserved a cupcake. Or ten. Sometimes I really hated being the man of the family. And I
still had to finish that damn TCNJ application tonight.

  I squirmed just thinking about what an idiot I’d been yesterday. Walking out of that locker room to find Claudia, sure she was going to take me back so we could start planning next year for real. And then, Traylor. Traylor plastered to my girlfriend.

  At least the yard work had been good for working out my aggression. Plus, it had given me time to think. And I had decided that I was 100 percent over her. She could do whatever the hell she wanted with that douche. Really. I was done.

  “You never know!” Michelle replied. “Oh! What about the peanut butter and jelly?”

  I shook my head, which felt a lot heavier than usual, like it could break off my neck at any moment.

  “You get to pick two flavors.” I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her toward the line at the counter. “Mom already picked her two and I get two. You should probably get something you know you like.”

  “Okay,” she groused, slouching. “One I know I like and one new one.”

  “Deal.”

  The girl behind the counter turned around, and her face lit up. It was True. God. Was she ever not here? At the sight of her I got this horrible twist in my stomach. There was no reason for her to look that happy to see me. Unless she wanted to rub Claudia’s new relationship in my face on her behalf.

  “Welcome to Goddess Cupcakes!” she announced. “What can I get you?”

  “Uh, I got this text about a free half-dozen?” I said, showing her my phone. “Is this legit?”

  “Yes! Of course! One hundred percent legit.” She looked over her shoulder toward the kitchen. “Tell me what you want and I’ll bring it out to you.”

  “That’s okay,” I said. “We’re going to take them to go.”

  “Oh. Uh, well, you have to have at least one in the shop.”

  “Okay! I’ll have a triple chocolate!” Michelle said, rising up on her toes.

  “Coming right up.”

  True grabbed a plate and slid open the case.

  “What do you mean you have to have one in the shop?” I asked.

  “That’s how it works!” she replied, looking up at me through the glass. “The promotion. They want you to eat in the shop.”

  My brow knit. I was so tired I felt like I wasn’t processing anything she was saying. “Okay . . . why?”

  “God, Peter!” Michelle said, grabbing the plate as True slid it across the counter. “Just shut up and have a cupcake.”

  True raised her eyebrows like a challenge. I sighed. My stomach was grumbling. “Fine. I’ll have one of the french toast ones.”

  “I’ll bring it right out to you.”

  “You can’t just hand it to me?” I said.

  “Nope,” she replied. “Go sit. I’ll be two seconds.”

  We locked eyes in a standoff. There was something shady going on here, but I didn’t have a clue what it was or why. Meanwhile, Michelle already had a table and was flagging me down.

  “Get me some milk!”

  Josie’s friends laughed mockingly over their coffees until my look of death silenced them. Yeah, my sister was hyper eighth grader with no boundaries, but she was still my sister.

  “Two milks, too, please,” I said, fishing out my wallet.

  After last night I was down to four dollars. I paid for the two small cartons of milk and sat with my sister, waiting for True to bring over my cupcake. I could tell Josie’s friends were whispering about me and I turned my back to them, hoping like hell they wouldn’t come over. The last thing I felt like doing was explaining their existence to Michelle.

  “Here you go,” True said, placing a plate in front of me. Then she sat down.

  “Um, what’s up?” I said.

  “I have a fifteen-minute break, so I thought we could chat.”

  “About what?” I asked flatly.

  She turned to smile at Michelle. “I’m True.”

  “I’m Michelle, Peter’s sister,” Michelle said, sucking chocolate off her thumb. “You have awesome hair.”

  “Thanks,” True said, flipping it over her shoulder. “And you have really pretty eyes.”

  Michelle almost choked. “Really? Thanks!”

  “I only speak the truth.” True crossed her arms on the table. “So, what’s up with you and Claudia?”

  Michelle’s very pretty eyes widened. She worshipped the ground Claudia walked on and basically freaked when I told her we weren’t together anymore. I shifted in my seat. “Nothing. We broke up.”

  “I know. But what’s up? Do you still like her?”

  The table of Josie’s friends had gone quiet. I didn’t think they were close enough to hear our conversation, but I wasn’t sure.

  “Why? It’s not like it matters,” I said, pushing myself back in my chair. “She’s with that Traylor”—I looked at my sister and chose my words carefully—“guy,” I said, thinking asshole, jerk, dickwad.

  “He’s her rebound guy!” True exclaimed, shoving my arm like we were old friends. “Trust me. She doesn’t like him.”

  “She doesn’t?” Michelle asked hopefully, her mouth full of cake.

  The twist in my gut loosened, and I got this fluttery feeling around my heart. “You think?”

  “Of course not,” True said loudly. “Look, you broke her heart, but only you can mend it. You simply need to prove to her that you love her.”

  I snorted an embarrassed laugh even as images of that day on the beach, the day I’d almost told her how I felt, flashed through my mind. Suddenly my throat closed over, just like it had that day too. I cleared it and ripped the wrapper off my cupcake, throwing it down on the plate like some kind of statement.

  “No one ever said anything about love,” I told her, and took a big, casual bite of my cupcake.

  “Well, but you do. Love her, I mean. Right?”

  Her smile was stiff. She seemed like she was holding her breath. I cocked my head at her, considering as I chewed. I knew I had loved Claudia then. And if she’d asked me the same question in the locker room yesterday, I probably would have said yes. But that was before. Before I’d seen Claudia trying to touch her tongue to Keegan Traylor’s tonsils. Before she’d publicly humiliated me. Before I’d started to feel completely unsure about whether anything we’d ever had was real. Yesterday had made me doubt everything. How could I love Claudia now?

  “I mean, I don’t know. I do . . . miss her,” I said, lowering my voice in case Josie’s friends could hear. “But what do I know about love?”

  “Oh, don’t be a wuss, Peter!” Michelle exclaimed. “You and Claudia were totally in love. You’re just terrified to say it because of the divorce.”

  “What?” True and I asked.

  “We’re totally learning about it in health class, in our psychology section?” she rambled, then took another bite of her cupcake. “Children of divorce are more likely not to trust their mates and are slower to show their love. I thought it was crap because I’m in love, like, every other week, but obviously for you it’s true.”

  “No, it’s not,” I said automatically.

  “Yes, it is!” she cried, spraying crumbs over the table.

  Gross. I handed her a napkin. “Dude. Eat with your mouth closed.”

  “I am!” she replied, sighing with her hand over her lips. She waited until she swallowed before adding. “God! I’m just trying to help.”

  “So do you think that’s it?” True asked me. “Do you think you love her but are just . . . afraid to say it?”

  “I don’t know.” I took another huge bite of cupcake and stared at the bathroom door in the corner. This was a pretty heavy conversation for a Sunday afternoon. Especially a Sunday afternoon following a night of drinking and a day of hard labor.

  “Look, people break up sometimes, but it’s okay to get back together,” True said. “So you wanted to sow your wild oats, see what else was out there, date some sophomore with big—”

  “Hey,” I said, silencing her. My face burned, but luckil
y Michelle was too busy licking icing off her fingers to have heard what True was saying. “That’s not why I broke up with her.”

  There was a long silence. True looked baffled. “So, why, then?”

  “Because!” I said under my breath. “I couldn’t . . . All I could think about was how we were going to have to break up. Eventually. Like, before college. It was like I was obsessed with it. How she was gonna move on without me, find some guy better than me—”

  “There’s no guy better than you,” Michelle said matter-of-factly.

  “Thanks, Michelle, but that’s what you think. What about what Claudia thinks?”

  “Oh!” True sat back hard in her chair, a smile crossing her face. “So it wasn’t that you needed space! It was separation anxiety!”

  “What are you, some kind of shrink?” I asked.

  True ignored the question. “Claudia doesn’t want someone better than you! She doesn’t want anyone but you.”

  She said it with such conviction that I almost believed her. Then the door to the shop opened with a tinkle of bells, and my heart dropped out of my body. Claudia had just walked in with Keegan Traylor’s arm around her. They were so focused on each other, they didn’t see anyone else in the room, including me. I watched as they sat down on the bench behind a window table and immediately began to maul each other. Lauren walked in behind them and slouched down across from them. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she stared in the opposite direction like she was fed up. Like she’d been watching this go on for hours.

  Perfect. This was totally perfect.

  I turned around, stone-faced, and looked at True. “Yeah, that really looks like I’m the only guy she wants.”

  True seemed paler than she had a second ago. “I see your point, but I—”

  “We’ll take the rest of the cupcakes to go. Michelle, tell her what you want,” I said gruffly, getting up and keeping my back to Claudia on the way to the door. “I’ll wait for you outside.”

  As far away from the windows of Goddess Cupcakes as I could get.

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  Claudia

  “Can you believe that woman thought that was her space?” Keegan laughed, reaching for his bottle of water.